I am a romance writer, a feminist and someone who…
Let me preface this post by apologizing to anyone who might be offended by the term ‘geek’. I’m going to use this term a lot, along with some very broad and sweeping generalizations, mostly for the sake of efficiency.
Let me also divulge that I too date a geek, but I haven’t always, and this is where this post comes from. Maybe the fact that my last holiday abroad involved watching 18 hours of Big Bang Theory because it helped me miss my ‘geek’ less, will convince you that I truly am a convert.
I’ve separated this post into three sections MONEY, LIFE and LOVE, in my best attempt to skew the dating pool in the geeks’ favor…
Geeks have the BEST jobs…
No, I’m not just talking about their paycheques, although they do tend to be pretty good. I’m talking about the fact that most things deemed ‘cool’ were originally created by geeks. The internet, social media, smart phones, all those flashy cars… These ‘must have’ items ‘cool people’ wave around to make themselves look ‘cool’, were somewhere down the line, ironically created by a geek.
Not only that, but geeks get to do some really awesome things in their day-to-day life. Geeks cure diseases (that’s handy), build products billions of people around the world use, and some even get to go to space…
Yes, it helps that these jobs tend to pay well, but think about it. Geeks also tend to have good reasoning skills, which means they also know how to manage their money well.
Geeks will inherit the earth.
Geeks don’t just sit on the sidelines in life, they are the ones shaping the world we live in. When an airplane disappears from the sky, when a key figure dies mysteriously, when anything of significance suddenly happens – who does the world turn to?… You got it, geeks.
In fact, the very concept of celebrity these days is very far removed from what it used to be.
In the past, innovators like Einstein, Edison (yes, I know he stole Tesla’s shine), Monet, and Jung; were considered the rock stars of their time. We need more of that, we need a revival. Just because we no longer put a geek’s name up in flashing lights, does not mean they are any less crucial.
In fact, I propose an experiment. Let’s give all the web developers, doctors and scientists a break and let the Kardashians and co take over for a while. Let’s just say, you should probably start building that bomb shelter right about now.
When it comes to fun, geeks have the best movies & TV going around.
In fact, much of the ‘trendy’ entertainment out these days, started with a geek following. Game of Thrones, Transformers, anything coming from the comic book world… And I confess, I am and have always been a huge ‘chick flick’ fan. But through dating a geek, I’ve come to love other genres too.
Recently my partner has gotten me into the Marvel movies, I’ve started reading Jack Reacher and the Dresden Files (though to my own credit I’d already read a few Game of Thrones books – before the TV series). And I now have someone who actually likes watching documentaries with me.
Anyway, to the people out there just thriving on what they know via their own social circle, dating a geek might be the eye opener you’ve been waiting for. Geeks can open your life up to a whole list of new things, and you might just gain a few extra I.Q points in the meantime (god/ science knows I did).
Geeks will keep your place clean (maybe).
No, I’m not advertising geeks as your new maid service, and yes, I am aware there’s always an exception to the rule. But geeks tend to keep things pretty neat and tidy.
I’m not sure if it’s their innate knowledge of bacterial infections (I kid, I kid), or an external expression of what’s going on in their logical heads, but most geeks will prefer clean over nasty.
Geeks make for intelligent (or at least entertaining) conversation.
As a girl who dated a boy who once asked her to ‘use smaller words’, (if you’re reading this article, hopefully you find my words aren’t that big), and another guy whose responses were limited to “yes”, “no” and “probably” – it was a relief to finally cotton onto the pleasures of geeky conversation.
A conversation with a geek can take you to weird and wonderful places. And most geeks, being the wonderful and open-minded creatures that they are, won’t mind it if you throw out random questions, or even want to share some difficult and personal information.
It’s a relief to have someone who is going to talk openly. And given that most geeks have been victim to harsh judgment and social stigma over their lives, they will usually be the last people to judge you for your thoughts and feelings (unless of course your thoughts and feelings are down right stupid, mean or ignorant).
And just in case intelligent conversation doesn’t tickle your fancy. Ladies, check out this conversation I had with my partner today:
Me: “What are you doing?”
Him (clicking feverishly at his computer’s mouse): “Giving them jobs?”
Me: “Giving who jobs?”
Him: “The dwarves*…”
Yep, that’s a conversation I never thought I’d have with another human being, but welcome to my world. Geeks don’t just offer intelligent conversation. They are smart, but that also means they can be really funny (even if their humor might take some getting used to and it’s not always 100% intentional)…
Most geeks don’t buy into the whole social scene.
That’s not to say geeks are unsocial. With the large number of conferences, meet-ups and social events, many geeks have a busier calendar than most ‘cool’ people. My point is that they also don’t see these events, and other peoples opinions, as the be all and end all.
Most geeks get to a point where they are self-assured enough to not care about keeping up appearances. They prefer to prioritize away from the superficial stuff and do what they really want to do i.e. following their passion, spending time with you.
A geek won’t be looking over your shoulder.
By this I mean geeks are very good at keeping themselves busy. I’ve heard other girls complain about their geeky partners spending too much time at the computer, but for those of us who are happy to do our own thing, a geeky boyfriend is the way to go.
That doesn’t mean we have a less intimate relationship, it just means we find other times to hang out. It’s nice to know neither of us has the pressure of keeping the other entertained.
And this brings me to my next point…
Geeks are always keen for fun dates.
If you’re not convinced enough already, let me refer back to my earlier point about geeks tending to be more self-assured and less judgmental. This attitude bodes well when it comes to doing the things you want to do. What I mean is, most geeks are happy, and less likely to feel ‘emasculated’ by participating in the things you enjoy.
I’m a full-time creative, my background is in performance and visual art, and these days I’m trying to make it as a romance writer. I can’t tell you how nice it is to be with someone who not only doesn’t mind a visit to the art gallery, museum, symphony or ballet; but also enjoys it as much as I do.
Not only that, but because he’s cultured, we can talk about the experience afterward. Shock, horror!
Geeks are super nice.
Now, in the past I’ve gone into the intricacies why we should aim to date nice guys. So I’ll skip that part and just say, if given the choice, please date the nice guy, not the jerk. Your future children, and society will thank you.
Most geeks have a developed a sense of empathy and a gentle nature (except for the occasional arrogant geek). Again, this could be because they don’t generally ‘fit in’ with the norm, but either way, geeks are the way to go if you enjoy respect, affection, and an uninjured self-esteem. Enough said there…
Geeks LOVE to learn.
That means geeks will be more open to your ‘stuff’ (though hopefully you’re open to theirs too). So if there’s something you love, they’ll either already know about it, or they’re willing to learn. And this also applies to issues that may arise in the relationship. While some ‘jerks’ might have a ‘my way or the highway’ approach to problems; geeks in all their super smart and super nice glory, are more likely to grow, change and adapt with the relationship.
Many relationships end when one partner hits a life change and the other is unwilling to accommodate. I’d say a geek’s adaptability is an admirable trait.
A geek will truly appreciate you.
This isn’t just a throw back to the old stereotype that geeks find dating difficult, so will be happy with what they get. The reason I say geeks will appreciate you more, harks back to them having a brain and the emotional capacity to fully invest in a relationship.
Smart guys will generally appreciate that you chose them (yes, and that they chose you too). Moreover they won’t generally mind the public displays of affection, pet names, and occasional irrational tears. Some people, more attracted to the societal ideals of what being in love ‘should’ entail, tend to struggle with this. Geeks don’t struggle so hard with the ‘shoulds’ in life, they generally just go with it.
That’s my two cents about geeks. I’d like to finally say, I think it’s a bit sad that having a brain and being unafraid to use it is seen as a negative trait. What I’m trying to do here is buck the trend and put something out into the world in defence of all the lovely geeks out there (again, pardon my lack of a better descriptor).
To the girls, give a geek go. Or better yet, become one yourself, the world needs more girly geeks. To the geeky guys, feel free to print this and hand it to that girl you’re interested in as a testimony, from one woman to another, that geeks are worth a shot. The world needs more fully realised men, and more women to love them for their no-holds-barred approach to emotion and left-of-centre interests.
*If you can guess which dwarf game my partner was playing, extra points to you.
Hope you enjoyed today’s post. I love reading and responding to everyone’s comments, so feel free to leave a comment of your own.
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