The following documentary snippet is apt to be the most awkward animal mating video I’ve ever seen. Strangely titled, ‘Passion of the Tortoise’ (apologies to the religious folk out there), this video is narrated by legendary Boardcaster and Naturalist Sir David Attenborough, for a 1990 BBC special originally entitled, ‘Continuing the Line’. The video is pure hilarity.

Watch the shenanigans of two male tortoises as they battle it out for the affections of one ultimately unfortunate female tortoise (seriously, if their battle technique isn’t weird enough, the victor’s mating style certainly is). What ensues is sure to make whatever happens at your local pub on a Friday night look mundane. So… umm… guys, please don’t take any tips from these two fellows, and ladies, maybe let’s consider ourselves lucky that this isn’t how it usually goes down in the human realm of ‘picking up’.

Please, just watch, this is so funny!

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image credit: David Shanon