I have two reasons for writing this post today. One, because there are a lot of confused guys out there who can’t decide if it’s worthwhile being ‘nice’. And two, because there are a lot of women expressing their annoyance at men being ‘jerks’, or at themselves for being attracted to jerks. Moreover I want to address the common saying ‘nice guys finish last’…
Before I get to the reason why I believe nice guys don’t finish last, I think it’s important that I distinguish the two groups of nice guys out there. The first group is the genuine type. I’ll just refer to him as a nice guy, because he genuinely is a nice guy, simple as that. But for the purposes of this article I’ll refer to the next type as the “Nice Guy” (notice my use of quotation marks). He’s not really a nice guy, though he’d like to think he is, and this type of guy always manages to ruin it for the others.
There are usually two reasons women don’t react well to “Nice Guys”:
1) They are pushovers and passive.
They finish last because they haven’t worked on their insecurities enough to act or make a move on the woman they are attracted to. They make nice guys in general look weak.
OR
2) They are just as bad or manipulative as the ‘bad boys’.
A pretty good analogy I’ve heard is that “Nice Guys” treat women like vending machines. They think that by inserting kindness, they can rightfully expect sex or a relationship to be dispensed in return. When this does not happen you get a slew of abuse from these guys, and thus women start to associate ‘niceness’ with disingenuous behavior.
The big red flag for a “Nice Guy” is that he’ll usually feel the need to tell a woman he’s nice. Because of the reasons I’ve listed above, I find “Nice Guys” usually display unspoken dislike for women, even though their goal is to get one. They carry a big chip on their shoulder, and everyone can see it except for them. Where as a TRUE nice guy usually doesn’t feel the need to advertise his ‘niceness’. He’s just being who he is, take it or leave it. The difference here is one is ‘acting’ nice and the other is ‘being’ nice.
But women have their own issues too, and sometimes genuine nice guys end up paying the price:
If a guy is really nice, women discard him into the friend pile with the word ‘nice’ cropping up repeatedly. He’s also often completely disregarded as boring and some women will wonder if he’s gay because he’s being so nice… It is frightening to think that we would take a guy walking all over us and treating us like shit any day over a man that wants to be nice to us…
The reason why women chase bad boys is because of the thrill of the chase, the occasional hints of a better character, and the twisted notion that these guys are ‘men’. – source
The thing is not all women are ‘there’ yet when it comes to being able to love a nice guy. While some guys struggle over why women don’t ‘want’ nice; a lot of women are still trying to figure out why they keep going for the same mean men. I discuss the reasons for this in other posts, but to the guys reading this, keep this fact in mind when you feel that familiar rise of angst at the good old “women only want losers” argument. The woman you’re interested in may well be wresting her own demons, which you don’t know about.
This brings me to my next point…
Nice guys don’t finish last, because while they might lose a few female interests here and there, true nice guys are usually in it for the long haul. In other words, most nice guys end up winning in the end via the quality of the relationships in their lives.
As mentioned above, sometimes it takes a woman having to go through some self discovery, and a bad relationship or two, to realize that a) they don’t in fact want to spend eternity with a jerk, and b) maybe they have a few issues and self-beliefs they need to work through so that they can accept ‘nice’ as an attractive trait.
That doesn’t mean a man should wait around for a particular woman – for some, these realizations and discoveries will never happen. But I do find that as women mature (usually late twenties/ early thirties), they generally steer away from jerky behavior and start aiming for men who don’t equate their masculinity with dominance over their partner. I’ve gone through this transition myself and I’ve seen many other women go through it too. Nice guys do win, it sometimes takes a while is all.
But there are wider reasons why a man should not stop being a nice guy, and why women need to work on themselves to accept kind deeds.
I think you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who honestly believes the world needs more crap people, and the fact is, being a ‘bad boy’ is a lazy man’s game. It takes more work to be nice. You can go out there and be an ass, it’ll probably work for you sometimes, but you won’t be getting much by way of value.
Personally, I make the point of trying to be kind and empathetic, to an extent, for selfish reasons. I don’t want those ‘bad boys’ and ‘mean girls’ to win. By this I mean that while I am more vulnerable to rejection by revealing my true self, I am completely unwilling to cave to my rejecters who might seek to beat the ‘niceness’ out of me via their own crap behavior. Yes, they might see me as weak by showing vulnerability, but I know the truth of who I am, and their opinions don’t matter enough to make me stop.
My honest to god/ female opinion is that nice guys are the real ‘men’ out there. They are stronger and more ‘masculine’ than any of those ‘bad boys’. They aren’t parading their ‘niceness’ so they can get something out of it. They aren’t parading confrontational behavior in order to assert their ‘manliness’. They are there everyday, putting themselves on the line by being good and loving human beings. They have the heart and strength to show those they love that they care, even if that means getting knocked back from time to time. And more than anything, they are consistent with the good things they do.
So to the genuine nice guys out there, please don’t stop and don’t lose heart; but at the same time don’t use your gentle nature as an excuse to be passive. Love the women who want you to be kind. They ARE out there. You just need to keep looking and appreciate them when you find them.
To the ladies struggling to be ‘attracted’ to nice guys. My best advice is that if a man isn’t giving you any reason to dismiss him from your life, don’t. Give this new (and nice) guy time to grow on you, and while you’re at it, challenge yourself to push through the self-doubts that will undoubtedly arise as a result. Ask yourself why you allow bad behavior from some, but reject kind deeds from others. Reevaluate the traits you associate with masculinity, and ask yourself which type of guy is likely to stick around when times get tough, and which will be a better father to your children one day (assuming you want any). Because I can assure you if you can ask yourself these questions, the resulting answers will be worth the effort of change.
Hope you enjoyed today’s post. I love reading and responding to everyone’s comments, so feel free to leave a comment of your own.
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Kelly Roberts
May 11, 2014 - 3:35 am ·Katerina, your post spoke to me in so many ways. I had a nice guy. For a really long time. And I thought I appreciated him. But what I really did was take him for granted. And because of that, I did a horrible thing. So horrible that I sometimes feel I shouldn’t be allowed to experience anything good in my life again.
That man is gone now. What I did destroyed part of him, and he will never be the same because of it. But this remains (from your post): “They are there everyday, putting themselves on the line by being good and loving human beings. They have the heart and strength to show those they love that they care, even if that means getting knocked back from time to time. And more than anything, they are consistent with the good things they do.”
The man I have now, the one who remains, is more of a man, more of a human being, than anyone I’ve ever known in my life. And I will spend the rest of my life making sure that this man never regrets his choice to be with me.
Katerina Simms
May 15, 2014 - 4:03 pm ·Hi Kelly,
Wow, what a great response, I’m so glad my post resonated with you. I feel I’ve been on both sides, I’ve had my kindness taken for granted of, and was treated rather cruelly, which forever changed me too (at times I’m still a little bitter). At the same time, I have a nice guy in my life now, and I’ll admit, sometimes I have to make a conscious effort not to take him for granted as well. I guess my lesson from the past was not to do the same to him that others have to me.
Though I don’t know the details of your relationship, the man you were with has the power to soul search and hopefully use his experience with you for better things. Try not to beat yourself up too much, what happened was likely indicative if something else that was going on in your life/ heart at the time. You needed to learn something too. Life happens xo
A Guy Named Billy
July 2, 2015 - 9:23 pm ·“That doesn’t mean a man should wait around for a particular woman – for some, these realizations and discoveries will never happen. But I do find that as women mature (usually late twenties/ early thirties), they generally steer away from jerky behavior and start aiming for men who don’t equate their masculinity with dominance over their partner. I’ve gone through this transition myself and I’ve seen many other women go through it too. Nice guys do win, it sometimes takes a while is all.”
Translation: They finish after the womans prime has started to dwindle and the need for stability and future family is ever increasing, let’s reframe it by talking about “maturity” as apposed to “finishing last” so that it will sound less crass for the sucker chump getting disadvantaged and help me rationalize my own behavior so that i don’t have to feel any guilt for what i have done.
Katerina Simms
July 5, 2015 - 5:03 pm ·Or perhaps at a younger age you don’t know what you don’t know? Sometimes when one grows up surrounded by less-than-brilliant examples they gravitate toward similar less-than-brilliant partners. Familiarity and the discomfort of change take a certain amount of personal growth to overcome––so does the ability to know who is good for you and who is out to hurt you. Wolves in sleep’s clothing, as they say. Your translation also assumes men don’t have some maturing to do (including the nice guys). There’s a reason why people who marry in their late twenties and onwards tend to enjoy lower divorce rates.
A Guy Named Billy
July 7, 2015 - 2:42 am ·Exactly what are you unaware of? That the guy is being bad towards you and/or others? Or maybe that there are men out there with a different type of behavior? Please. It’s all just a load of bull and lame excuses. Where people are biased or even lie the sexuality always tells the truth and the fact of the matter is that you women wouldn’t be in a situation like that to begin with if it weren’t for your attraction towards those types of men but even more importantly, if you didn’t make that *choice*.
“Familiarity and the discomfort of change take a certain amount of personal growth to overcome”, yeah because the personal cost of hanging around bad men year in and year out takes a toll in the end the when the emotional cost becomes too high, ones attractiveness isn’t what it used to be and the need for family/stability kicks in. What an utterly pratical time to “mature” and funny how it should all happen to coincide like that.
But in the end “seconds” are still just that, seconds. How would it change the situation for the guy that has been disadvantaged at the best years of his youth based on how it’s framed? It doesn’t.
I do think that men don’t have any transition to do in the context of what we’re talking about here, yes. Do men fall for girls that are less than angels? Ofcourse they do. But in that case the girl tends be physically attractive and her bitchy attitude is more of a by-product that guys put up with. There’s no real need for any girl to be bad because she will have offers regardless while in a mans case the difference can literally be like night and day. Old and ugly men in outlaw motorcycle clubs tend to have young and sexy women to choose from yet without that lifestyle they would be having nothing. It’s two completly different things and there’s just no way to compare.
I think it’s all rather distaseful and that women should be ashamed for letting men live up to unrealistic and destructive expectations and the two-faced ways of their behavior. It’s a social problem and they really should be held accountable for it yet since it’s men being affected nobody cares and they’re left out in the cold. It’s funny how hypocritical the feminist ideology is shouting for equality on one hand while almost always ignoring the inctentives that womens sexuality gives for the exact opposite on the other.
Katerina Simms
July 10, 2015 - 10:44 pm ·“Do men fall for girls that are less than angels? Ofcourse they do. But…” Bias, bitterness, and contradictory entitlement if ever I read any. Men making unfortunate choices=Good and forgivable; women making unfortunate choices=She deserves it, it’s totally her fault, and she should have known better despite the ‘bad guys’ lying in the first place.
And before you spout about women using their sexuality as a weapon, maybe do some research on exactly which of the two sexes started this ‘money grab’ and scarcity mentally when it comes to women to begin with. You might just find out how betrayed by your own gender you’ve been.
Good day to you. I see we won’t agree on this.
A Guy Named Billy
July 12, 2015 - 9:13 am ·There’s no bias and nothing contradictory about it. I never said it was good but that it was *different* and i do still stand by that. Since when does a woman have to be dangerous, rebellious, strong etc. in order to increase her attractiveness in a mans eyes? It just not how mens sexuality works. You should’ve just refuted this point instead of bringing it down to an emotional level.
“despite the ‘bad guys’ lying in the first place”, yet you quote a piece of text about nice guys being boring and that there is a thrill and sense of masculinity when a man treats a woman like shit. Because hey, they need to figure out why they *go* for the same bad men and *learn* to start appreciating nice guys, isn’t that your own words?
What weapon? It’s not an issue i’ve tackled. What i’m talking about is the hypocrisy from feminists in bashing patriarcal and even misogynistic tendencies yet when women are in their prime years those qualities are exactly what they embrace.
The right thing ofcourse would be for the ideology and it’s adherers to focus on the female sexuality and it’s impact on inequality but you guys would never have the balls to put such a responsibility on women. Instead the message is always apologetic and politically correct – just like this article of yours.
Katerina Simms
July 12, 2015 - 5:44 pm ·“For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.”––Sir Thomas More.
Again, please do some research. The ‘patriarchy’ as you put it has been in place for thousands of years, and yet you expect women to have everything sorted within a couple of generations, bypassing the fact that within each country equality varies greatly.
“Because hey, they need to figure out why they *go* for the same bad men and *learn* to start appreciating nice guys, isn’t that your own words?”
You realize it’s the patriarchy that establishes this attitude, right? Women are raised to be docile, nice, helpless, nurture, and ‘fix’ those with troubles (bad guys included), often at their own detriment. While both genders are raised to believe men should be the ones to rule with an iron fist and save the day. If women are too passive for your liking, ask why rather than placing blame. Do you account for the number for women who stay in shit relationships just waiting for the other to improve, living out the lives they were always told to live out, and to ‘stand by your man’ because a good woman is a loyal woman despite what she’s put through? Tell someone often enough ‘this is what you deserve’, and they might just start believing you. Do you think shit people ALWAYS portray themselves as thus right away? If so, do some research on sociopathic and narcissistic personality types within relationships––both of which are becoming more and more valued in our money–driven society.
Or would you rather women (and men) didn’t learn or evolve based on experience and just continued to repeat history.
By the way, when I met my partner it just happened to be at a point where I’d decided I was happy being alone if never found someone, I had money saved and was fully prepared to do things by myself––even now, I pay all my own bills, and stay with him out of choice not necessity. I didn’t pick a nice guy for security, I picked a nice guy because I’d finally unplugged from what I’d been raised to believe about what women and men were put on this planet to achieve. You have not lived my life, nor do you know exactly where and why I got my original ideals (here’s a clue, it wasn’t from a woman), but again, I can either sit back and punish myself for other’s choices or I could change and make my own mind up about the world I want to live in.
I don’t disagree with everything you’re saying, one thing I do agree with you on: “I think it’s all rather distasteful and that women should be ashamed for letting men live up to unrealistic and destructive expectations and the two-faced ways of their behavior. It’s a social problem and they really should be held accountable for it yet since it’s men being affected nobody cares and they’re left out in the cold.” Again we need to ask where this belief came from, and this not just women who enforce this––how many guy’s call each other ‘gay’ or ‘pussies’ for not living out a certain ideal.
“People see weakness in a woman and they want to help. People see weakness in a man and they want to stomp him down.” It’s a quote from Norah Vincent, I used in it this article. Though I suspect you’ll take issue with that too.
nicknjmon
May 22, 2016 - 8:18 am ·Good men have to wait until theyre in their 30s or 40s to get their first relationship and its good men who are crass and entitled? You said youre man had you as his first girlfriend. So he gets to go to the plate and bat once and bats 1.000. Assuming youve had at least 5 relationships prior because youre an attractive woman. You are at 1/5. Whos wrong men or women? And who gets the short stick? Good men who lose half their youth before finding a girlfriend if they ever do…
Katerina Simms
June 15, 2016 - 7:43 pm ·Your assumption about me is wrong, I didn’t get to five relationships before I found my husband. I can say I barely had two, and it’s not like my husband never dated or was the one constantly being rejected. And trust me, both genders get short sticks in different ways. There is no one specific ‘wrong’ gender, just a bad societal attitude on both sides for a number of reasons.
nicknjmon
June 21, 2016 - 11:08 am ·Ok Katarina then Im sorry. But there are so few women like you(if any). All the women Ive met have low self esteem and will get in a relationship with any man simply because they hate being alone. No good man would even have a chance to ask her out. I live in NJ. There are only codependent women here. Maybe I should move.
A Guy Named Billy
July 13, 2015 - 2:41 am ·Ah, it’s the “Patriarchy’s” fault that women make poor choices. That figues. Since all the other excuses have already been deployed it would only seem reasonable that it should come full circle. First of all i would say you’re exaggerating how women are being raised up and very much so (we focus on the “Western Civilization”). Second, even if we were to assume such a proposition and that there is more emphasis on women to be nice, nurturing etc. the leap from there to getting into a relationsship with someone who is a douche, towards oneself and/or others or criminal, a rulebreaker etc. is still huge. There is no getting around the fact that without taking personal responsibility into the equation of such a scenario the woman is reduced to nothing more than a mindless automaton. Your argument is weak and extremely far-fetched.
“Patriarchy” more than anything i would say is a very convenient excuse for women not having to live up to their own shit.
“Do you think shit people ALWAYS portray themselves as thus right away?”
As i’ve said, the way you have quoted and argued is from a proposition of the women knowing what they’re getting themselves into. Why hide being an arrogant scumbag, bully, criminal or notorious cheater when you can wear it as a badge of honor and increase your sex appeal?
“I didn’t pick a nice guy for security, I picked a nice guy because I’d finally unplugged from what I’d been raised to believe about what women and men were put on this planet to achieve.”
You don’t need to be neither crass nor calculated and yet the facts of the situation can still remain true. There’s no need for money (and it’s a commendable part on your behalf) or you to look for any relationsship. All that is needed is for the guy to be a stable and a decent partner while the previous ones never were for the case to be made that the “nice guy” is getting the seconds and that the behavior of you women is two-faced and quite shameful.
The fact that you and many other women may rationalizes your behavior as having been “unplugged” doesn’t really change anything about the situation.
“Again we need to ask where this belief came from, and this not just women who enforce this––how many guy’s call each other ‘gay’ or ‘pussies’ for not living out a certain ideal.”
Yes, you make a very good point here. The difference is that while men encourage it as a gender role women do that and on a sexual basis aswell. When it comes to sexuality they exert complete influence since it’s ultimately their desires who will decide if such a man will have any sucess.
It’s yet another thing that feminists in general conveniently leave out when talking about negative masculine roles because who would be on the recieving end of such a change in embracing weak men? Exactly.
Katerina Simms
July 13, 2015 - 3:36 pm ·“Do you think shit people ALWAYS portray themselves as thus right away?”
As i’ve said, the way you have quoted and argued is from a proposition of the women knowing what they’re getting themselves into. Why hide being an arrogant scumbag, bully, criminal or notorious cheater when you can wear it as a badge of honor and increase your sex appeal?
Actually, that’s not what I was referring to at all. I was referring to ignoring or excusing away the signs with regards to men who come across as ‘nice’ and months into a relationship are not so nice. Often bad guys present themselves as ‘misunderstood nice guys’ pulled wayward by external circumstances i.e. bad family, lack of choice; and go into relationships stating they want to change their ways. Many women believe them wanting to give that person a second chance in life, but not realizing that one can only be their own second chance. The same thing happens when you reverse the genders too–heaps of men email me all the time saying they’ve fallen into the same traps.
Personally, I’ve never been with someone who out and out said they were a “arrogant scumbag, bully, criminal or notorious cheater”––nor did they act as such. Often it took months or years for this behavor to come out (or for me to actively dig the truth out myself), but perhaps there were personality quirks, inconsistencies, and signs along the way. By that point you’re already attached and it’s harder to disengage. If however, I were to knowingly get into a relationship with an active and open criminal/ cheater etc, then yes, that would be my fault. What I am describing though is when one eventually learns to read the signs––usually from experience––and has the choice to stick to what they know or leave it behind for someone who doesn’t need to be second guessed.
A Guy Named Billy
July 14, 2015 - 12:15 am ·“I was referring to ignoring or excusing away the signs with regards to men who come across as ‘nice’ and months into a relationship are not so nice”
The thing is in many cases it’s little more than semantics separating one (seems nice) from the other (is bad). Why? Because a womans attraction and deeper and deeper feelings of love towards a man will make her prone to rationalize he’s ways regardless and even if the shit is flying her straight in the face. Hell even convicted murderers get the same pass so it doesn’t really mean anything.
“Often bad guys present themselves as ‘misunderstood nice guys’ pulled wayward by external circumstances i.e. bad family, lack of choice; and go into relationships stating they want to change their ways”
He doesn’t need to do any of that but let’s take the cases when he does, so what? It’s still the “bad” allure and masculinity of the bad traits that makes her prone to dig deeper and find his “true” self, be “the special one” to change him wich gives her validations. There’s nothing alturistic about it. If that was the case women would be falling head over heels over those weak. depressed, lonely guys who’s only wish is to be loved yet we all know not a single fuck is given in those cases.
“but perhaps there were personality quirks, inconsistencies, and signs along the way. By that point you’re already attached and it’s harder to disengage”.
Finally, there are men who are charming, confident and good without there genuinely not being visible bad traits that may be abusers. The funny thing in those instances is that the woman will STILL find a way to justify it. Granted, she got already got hooked on the good sides, but what would happen if the man instead of becoming bad started to act more “leeching and dependant” on the woman, being so nice and cuddly to the point where his masculine just weren’t there anymore? In that she would fall out of attraction yet when the man is abusive it doesn’t happen.
I would argue that there is a biological imperative at play here and that when a woman is abused her sexuality responds to the masculinity in those traits while her mind thinks otherwise. It is ofcourse an extremely politically incorrect notion and a narrative that would never be given a serious platform. Regardless of how well that person may have argued his case he would be deemed a wifebeater-appologist and supreme scumbag, ostricized and destroyed in whatever field he may have had a career in.
Katerina Simms
July 14, 2015 - 6:26 pm ·I’m not sure what you describe is female specific. I’ve been on a few dates with guys, who I was perfectly ‘nice’ to, only for that guy to go running back to his cheating ex-partner. I didn’t go on to surmise that all men are crazy and prefer mean women. I’m assuming you’ve only ever dated women, so perhaps your judgement is skewed by not having been on the other end of the dating equation––trust me men have their issues, and they aren’t so different to women when you get down to it.
With relation to abusive pasts, well statistically (not so much biologically) it’s been proven as a trend that those who have been abused often (but not always) go on to either attach themselves to abusive relationships, become abusers, or both. But again, this isn’t so much gender specific as it is part of the human condition in general.
A Guy Named Billy
July 16, 2015 - 12:09 am ·“I’ve been on a few dates with guys, who I was perfectly ‘nice’ to, only for that guy to go running back to his cheating ex-partner. I didn’t go on to surmise that all men are crazy and prefer mean women”
His ex-partner having cheated in and of itself does not equate it with being an attractive trait in a woman. Would he have been attached to her if that didn’t happen and despite you being nice? Let’s exclude exes for a while, how many times would a woman have to go on a date worrying about if her niceness will prevent her from causing attraction in a man resulting in a relationsship or sex? It’s a ridiculous notion.
“With relation to abusive pasts, well statistically (not so much biologically) it’s been proven as a trend that those who have been abused often (but not always) go on to either attach themselves to abusive relationships, become abusers, or both. But again, this isn’t so much gender specific as it is part of the human condition in general.”
Yeah but if the biological aspect is never mentioned, how can it be taken into account? Even if we were take a history of abuse into account as a cause for getting attached in abusive relationsship it only goes so far as to show an increased propensity. It still doesn’t explain the sexual mechanisms and there’s never been a single shred of evidence that the upbrining can do that. A classic example is homosexuality wich doesn’t cease to exist regardless of culture and the fact that all of the attempts to “educate” it away have ultimately failed.
nicknjmon
May 22, 2016 - 7:06 am ·Youre describing Feminists. Theyre women with self-hatred and deep-seated feelings of self-consciousness. Im over 35 years old and im still yet to meet one single woman capable of submitting to a man. Im always told to stay positive and be patient. When can i stop being positive, when im 80 and still flying solo?
The Observer
August 2, 2017 - 3:18 am ·Just came across your site. I’m obviously a little late in commenting here, but I do have a question concerning the ‘nice guy’ definition and whether or not he’s safe to call himself such. I refer to myself as a nice guy and a good man. I don’t refer to myself as a bad boy or a shit man, because I am self-aware to know who I am. I’m also not a mass murderer, but because I deny I am one, does that then make me one. So why is it a red flag to state what someone is. If I have to walk around guarded about who I am because of what one or another woman thinks, then why is her powers of observation or lack of need to be my problem. If a woman desires a good man should I not expect that she is emotionally mature enough to know how to recognize and appreciate a stable good man? If a man means what he says and says what he means and a woman still chases after a bad boy, is that the mans fault? Many nice guys are gentle and kind, sometimes they may be a little passive, needy or even clingy. But is that any different from a woman who may be also a little passive, needy and clingy. Those traits in either sex indicate a lack of emotional maturity. Thus how are they healthy potential mates for anyone. If a woman or man is non-assertive which means they are either passive/passive-aggressive/aggressive, how is that behavior beneficial for a relationship.
More women in our North American society due to feminism are extraordinarily aggressive and controlling now. Nice guys and good men have no interest in dealing with control freaks who are in and of themselves highly manipulative. These are alpha females who now act heartless, controlling and cold.
These women lack empathy, teamwork in a relationship and love to dominate men ceaselessly. There is more often an immense lack of humility in more women now who see men as disposable objects than real human beings in need of the same level of respect as any other.
So yes I’m a good man with a good heart, one fuck of a backbone, who is tired of hearing about these women who can’t find a good man or a nice guy when they now abuse the shit out them, and wonder why
they won’t come back.